People have so many questions about aspergers, yet they never ask aspies!

Hello,

If you are reading this you are most likely looking into Aspergers because someone you know has it or you suspect that you may have it. I hear people say all the time how Doctors say this about Aspergers and they say that, my response always is “Yeah, but they don’t have it so they don’t really know what they’re talking about! If you want to know about Aspergers ask someone who has it!”

Well now I am making that possible by writing this blog which you can post questions at and I will do my best to respond to them and if I don’t know my answer I will ask my aspie friends(aspie is a nice way of saying Aspergers.)

I am going to write the answers to some of the most common asperger syndrome questions that I hear and one’s that I haven’t heard to much, but know that they exist.

What is Aspergers?

Aspergers, is on the Autism spectrum, but there are so many differences between someone who has Autism and someone with Aspergers that it would take forever to name them all. I will supply you with the information you want to know though.

If your child or friend does not conform to normal social skills, social cues, or simply doesn’t have any whatsoever it may not be because they are being bad there is a very high chance that normal  social skills don’t make sense to them if they have Aspergers or H.F.A, because the way our  brains are designed.
I have spent several years examining anyone I see who is considered normal and how they respond to certain things and situations to learn about these very hard, mysterious social skills. I am proud to say that I have learned some of them, at least most of the important one’s while I personally still don’t understand why some exist and or why certain proper social skills are tolerated.

What are Asperger behaviors?

Not looking you in the eye is a big one, not understanding social skills, thinking everyone knows what you know, honestly believing that people can read your mind and being upset that your parents   didn’t take you to the zoo today since that’s all you thought about and they knew it(when you actually never verbally said you wanted to go to the zoo, you just thought that they could read your mind.)

Sensory over load is a major problem for people on the autism spectrum and that includes those who have Aspergers and High Functioning Autism, also known as H.F.A.

here’s  an example. a loud siren goes by your house and your kid instantly covers their ears or does something that seems strange to you when the truth is that their mind can’t process the sound. Also sensory via touch and taste is mind-boggling. If your child refuses to eat a certain food, it isn’t because they’re picky it’s because that texture is freaky as all get out and probably is equivalent to you having to eat worms. One  situation that I personally go through all the time that is both sensory audio and sensory touch would be business events(for your kid it might be school.) I hate these events, yet I love what is being displayed at them, but that’s not the point of this article.  I can not help but hear everything that is said, see every movement that is going on around me, hear every electronic gadget, see every blinking light, have to acknowledge certain people and communicate with them, may that be by hand shakes, words, etc. Why is  this so hard? Because  It is mentally and physically exhausting since our minds have to process everything going on around us at once. Also the amount of people and things happening is magnified by ten than what you may experience.  It is the greatest overload I have to experience and is quite mentally and physically stressful. Your kid may respond to these type of scenarios different then someone else with Aspergers or High Functioning Autism, Some may cover their ears and run out of the room, others may yell, basically we’ll do whatever we can to help stop the overload in are brain.

The best way I can put it that I think someone who’s normal will be able to comprehend how hard it is for us to deal with all the incoming sound and social skills is the following scenario. Your boss at work tells you to stand on one leg, type up a professional document to present to investors with your eyes closed, sing a song from 1910 perfectly without forgetting a single word, and make coffee all at the same time. If you can do that without a sweat, then you should be in the record books.

Is there a cure for Aspergers?

No, no there is not a cure for Aspergers. Why does a cure for Aspergers even need to exist? It isn’t like we have a terminal illness, we just see the world differently than you because we have a-typical minds while you have neurotypical minds. I feel the need to say that by trying or wanting a cure for Aspergers, you are basically saying that we must conform to think the way you do. I understand why parents want a cure for Aspergers Syndrome, because they want to be able to understand their child better, but isn’t learning more about the syndrome a more affective and responsible thing to do than trying to cure something that doesn’t  need  to be cured?  You can ask any Aspie if they want to be cured or go on an Aspie chat room and almost all of  them  will say “No.”

Is Aspergers contagious?

Aspergers is not contagious what so ever. It is a neurological disorder, it’s like saying “I am normal so when are you going to catch it?”

Why is my child obsessed with one thing?

Because that is what they love, that’s the one thing that they will learn everything about and like many people may make them a ton of money. Now if the thing they love happens to be video games, well all I can say is get them into some programming classes and or graphic design classes. Odd enough my fascination has been programming for as long as I can remember…. I think I started programming at age 9 or earlier. needless to say I have already designed iPhone apps, games for the Nintendo Wii, and am working on something that will be quite amazing in it’s own rights.

Why does my child with Aspergers have such a hard time at public school?

Oy, this is a topic I hear parents talk about all the time, so now I get a chance to clear up this “mystery”. I have already stated that people with Aspergers have a much harder time with social skills, sensory issues like sound, touch, etc. School is full of that. What I haven’t covered is how hard it is to get  jokes and that we tend to take things quite literally. One major problem with public school has to be the “normal” kids who bully us, because we seem different to them and they don’t know what to do except to make fun of you, which in turn makes you upset and may start a fight. Who is the real culprit here? The kid with Aspergers is usually the culprit, because we understand things differently therefore we’re made fun of. Also teachers, even special education teachers seem to have no understanding of us whatsoever, which will create major friction between teacher and student.   Also our minds take everything said quite literally, that’s why I may use more words than you to say the same thing, like let’s say you ask someone “What’s up?” the literal non-sarcastic response is “The Sky.” Yes, I know for those who have normal minds that sounds sarcastic, not one bit respectful and isn’t the correct answer. Well you actually  did get the correct answer, the literal answer. what you are  actually trying to say is ” has anything exciting or interesting happened  in your life since I saw you last?”  Now if you take a moment to pause and think how often questions like this arise in a normal enviroment like school, work, family gatherings, you will see a major trend in responses, arguments, people getting offended, yet they are asking a question and they are getting the correct response, the literal response when they are expecting something entirely different that they didn’t actually say.

I have a ton more to say on this subject and I really want to write about “Logic” so hopefully I will write a follow up article on logic, or at least are logic.

What is something you encounter everyday that you think people should know about Aspergers?

First of all, don’t make fun of us because we’re different, we very well may  be your boss someday. Also understanding “figures of speech” is quite a feat and very hard, so please say what you mean and avoid those confusing small phrases. Also jokes, I don’t know how much I have to emphasize this, but when you are joking you should make it clear that is a joke before you say it, or just don’t say it at all.

Note: I am not a Doctor, nor do I want to be one. I just have Aspergers and want to help educate those who don’t understand us.

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One thought on “People have so many questions about aspergers, yet they never ask aspies!

  1. Liz says:

    Yes. All I can say is YES.

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