Aspergers suppressing emotion– having no emotion

We do our best to show no emotion, well very little emotion. We think with logic. We dictate everything with logic, or ahould i say we think in what we consider logical literals that others fail to comprehend.well, we think logically and literally on the most part. A lot of us when we get hurt are silent.

What are we? A mythical creature? Vulcan? No we have aspergers syndrome. When hurt physically or emotionally you suppress the feeling to the point that you don’t feel it. This gives people the wrong ideas about us. I’ve heard people say people with Aspergers can’t make friends. This was when kids were talking about a kid with autism and making fun of him. I tried to explain about aspergers, but failed and also failed at not showing emotions. I growled, yelled “oh brother!” and stomped out of the room. a friend explained why I got so upset to these kids. They didn’t ever mention what happened again.

The point is that we hide pain and emotions until we get to the boiling point, where the tea kettle inside of us is boiling over. This isn’t healthy, so I take the tea kettle top off when I am at home or with a friend so I don’t cloak who I am.

Why cloak emotions? They are illogical and lead you to “think with your heart” or in other words let emotions control your decisions and not literal logic. We have the ability to think with our heart, but we still do even that in a literal logical way. I think emotionally, but before making a decision I do the math to figure out the probability of a good outcome. When there is no statistics to go on you feel lost. You can’t use logic nearly as well without stats and emotions, well, there are only a few instances where I think without stats.

Silent pain might be more painful than screaming pain, because you quickly forget about the pain and no one notices so you can’t get treatment for it. Thinking with literals seems to be the only logical thing to do, just double check with customers if what they said is what they really want… Like if your boss says “so and so deserves to be punched.” you reply ” are you joking?” he gives you the same odd tone he has given you for five years as he says “yes I am joking!” maybe it is exasperation, annoyance, I am not sure, just always double check since not everyone thinks in literals.
I’ve only seen people on the autistic spectrum able to use the above ways of hiding emotions. You can try to hide your emotions, but I don’t think it will work that well for you If you aren’t autistic.

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27 thoughts on “Aspergers suppressing emotion– having no emotion

  1. guest says:

    Keep writing. It helps me understand a little better my girlfriend. Thanks !

  2. lately I have been doing some searching that leave me troubled, I had a shrink suggest I, have aspergers. however, things that I fall back onto in thought lead me to want to deny it all. I don’t know if your some type of doctor or something further or around there. I am thirty years old, have had my brother at some point or another become troubled when i seem to lack empathy of others, like when some areas on the planet under go disaster’s and lots of lives are lost and it doesn’t seem to phase me. but then also, psychical pain doesn’t always get me either except bad headaches strangly enough. I am not sure on this literal thing as listed above.being math is listed, if not mistaken that would mean said literal person would be good with math, which is a hard spot for me. do people often try to find ways to deny aspergers?

    • We hate change, change disrupts and destroys everything as we know it. We get used to the change, but it isn’t easy & not always pretty. So, you could be denying Aspergers, because it is a change from being considered an NT.

  3. Jeremy says:

    apart from being different from other people with AS, how does one handle being shy and unable to approach woman should the “want” come about but be unable due to the shyness and anything else tagging along that train?

    also where might I find more solid info to review to help myself understand this all better in hopes for a change I can accept along with anything else. I had seen some where that AS types misplace fear and safety which I know I do, and over time state I do not have fear or the likes. how common is that exactly? to give an example of what I mean. my step father is army and we use to move around, roughly every three to five years and as a cooping tactic I’d set off by foot getting my surroundings put into my mind so to speak. such walks would take me really far, luckily not getting lost doing so. most people most likely would not do this and diffidently never at night time which is when I typically would do that sort of thing.

    lastly, of AS what are solid traits that all As folk have that don’t differ? if that makes sense, I’ve read some stuff and either I’ve never been aware and there for just didn’t know or just things I find hard to accept

    • Jeremy,
      Do you look people in the eye? Are you shy? Are you flat affect? Are you insanely smart in one area that is your main focus? Can you hear dog whistles? The dog whistle question is my curiosity since I did a study on 15 friends on the spectrum and we all heard the dog whistles, which causes pain. The NTS did not. Webmd is the best, most informative and reputable site for information, so here is a link to Webmd about Aspergers.

      • Jeremy says:

        I am shy and eye contact depending how I feel I suppose isn’t always hard like if out in open public walking around kind of gazing at another person. I had a shrink briefly, who suggested I have aspergers to begin with, sessions I often found it unsettling to remain eye locked. this dog whistle thing sounds odd and a bit silly but that’s just me. as for the smarts, upon being born I under went life threatening issues, the whole IQ thing even is unclear. I’ll check a little more into the link you’ve left here thanks.

  4. Dizzie says:

    So I’ve started a long distance relationship since I seem more able to connect with people through text than face to face this is how I’ve met most of my past BFs. This guy I really like him though I was worried he’d be put off by my lack of emotion and started searching online and came across various things about Aspergers Syndrome which is a bit worrying.

    I’ve always had a hard time with emotion and thinking very literal people seem to think I am cold or cruel in my way of thinking. I do have emotion I can feel sad or happy it just doesn’t really show I guess? I sort of gotten into the habit of just smiling and just sort of being positive which seems to put people off even more.

    I did go through some abuse growing up so I do not know if this is something that has developed because of that, or if this could possibly AS, is there any sort of test or something that would let me know?

    All my relationships have fallen apart because of my ‘lack of emotion’ or ‘lack of passion’ I just want to make things work…

    • Dizzie,
      There is no specific test, but psychiatrists, psychologists, and neurologists can diagnose Aspergers.

      Relationships can be challenging for people with Aspergers. As you can see from the comments on my site, there are a lot of aspies in relationships.

  5. carolyn says:

    I feel jut awful! I have long suspected my 16 y/o daughter of having Aspergers but never addressed this with her pediatrician or regular doctor. I totally laid into her this weekend because we had an appointment to put our family dog down, and all she could ask me was, when we are done at the vet can you take me to the mall… just like any other day, no big deal.

    She is now suffering the effects of showing no emotion in volleyball. Her HS coach thinks she isn’t “in the game” because she shows no emotion on her face. She will cheer, but still has a pretty straight face. But is being benched because of her lack of caring (coach’s words).

    Is it too late to do anything about it? Is there some sort of test I can have her take without her thinking I think she is defective in some way? Do I just let it go? She is very smart, and has lots of friends, and is very social. Just not emotional. her peers see her as strong. I always have as well, but I still feel like I should do something… but what?

  6. Francois says:

    Why do people in general think of Autism as a disease?

    • Those who think that aren’t well informed. It’s a syndrome, not a disease.

      • Francois says:

        I know its a syndrome, not a disease, but how do I cope with peole like that? Punching them dosn’t work, and trying to explain dosn’t work either. WHAT DO I DO!?!??

      • Violence is never the appropriate answer. I’ve learned that a lot of people don’t know the difference between a disease and a syndrome. I’ve had people say way worse things about aspies to me, but that’s because I don’t say I am an aspie.

        Documentation on the subject from credible sources online sometimes help, but sometimes people are at a functioning level that refuse to comprehend what it really is or are incapable of doing so due to their lack of intellect. Those people aren’t worth my time nor should they be worth your time, let alone risking getting in trouble by punching them.

        You can’t knock sense into someone’s head by assaulting them. That just makes them more powerful than you. If you don’t punch them and walk away or ignore them, then you’ve won the battle.

      • Jeremy says:

        why on earth would the idea of hitting someone “YOU” don’t understand come to mind to begin with? @Francois, do some reading on the matter and learn all you can it may open up your mind to those who may have Aspergers or like myself “Pdd-nos” then perhaps, drop and leave behind the idea joke or reality of hitting someone. Unless you’d rather see life through bars? you’re choice make it a wise one and have a good day.

        As for the person running this site, how is it people with Aspergers/Pdd-nos can suppress emotions? I lost a cat last year and shut off that part of myself, finding it easier to just accept the issue I’ve yet to fully grieved nor do I wish to is this bad?

      • No, this isn’t bad. As Lady Gaga would say “I was born this way”, meaning it’s part of who we are. Of course, I have PDD NOS and suppress emotions as well, so I am bias on the subject.

      • Jeremy says:

        awful music reference there. what’s this about emotional suppressing though, is it bad? and what’s a good solid source to look into for more information

  7. Francois says:

    Dear Jeremy, I don’t think I d spend time in jail when I m 14, even less chances of that happening in Nepal. Next, the people I go to school with will humilliate me to such a point I will cry, something which happens really rarely to me, and ignoring them can’t work as, if I do, its for them (Nepali rich kids) a sign of weakness, the one risk I cannot take. And if someone tells me to see a psychiatrist, I will answer that the only competent one in Kathmandu (Dr. Joseph Koch) wants to put me on medication, which I won’t take.
    I need a solution. Please.

    • Francois, I can’t tell you to take medication, but I can say some medication has helped me and others. Therapists can also be helpful for some people.

      In no shape or form am I telling you what to do nor should you do anything off the web without thorough research and the consent from your parent(s) and or legal guardian(s).

    • Jeremy says:

      What do you’re parents say firstly? as for school kids, that can be tough no matter what unless you maybe,(maybe) into shape sometimes, looking one way may offset bullies. a mild suggestion and doesn’t require pill’s or the likes. what do they use to pick on you with if you don’t mind? clearly being different some how paints us a bull’s eye, I had my share of being bothered growing up, not sure I have anything else to offer.

      except this don’t turn to school yard violence as some schools in the US are doing as of late, though reasons being different. good luck and keep good spirits bout your self(in a non religious way by that saying ) Oh I’m 33 fyi I still have stuff I’m learning of myself in current time which was mind blowing when I begun searching for info

      • I defeat bullies by making what they’re saying null and void. I am good at being literal and can convert negatives into positives, because people are so awful at their wording.

    • Luc Aguettant says:

      Cher Francois, si tu est a la British School of Kathmandu, désolé mais tous ce que tu peux faire c’est de te mettre sur la touche. Ce que je veux dire est que tu devrais te mettre à l’écart, dépandant de la classe dans laquelle tu est. Crois moi, jy ai ete a stécole. Pas facile.
      What i write here is that all you can do at TBS is to keep quiet. It work for me. I has been to that school too and i has PDD NOS. For other people, people in this school are multibillionaires, the richest of Népal.
      Bonne chance et bon vent.

  8. Jeremy says:

    @host thanks for the link up top i’ll be viewing it very shortly.

  9. Francois says:

    Merci. Je vais essayer cette tactique.

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