Asperger relationships dating

To answer the question “can people with aspergers fall in love?”…. I can’t give you a definitive answer since the word love has a very vague definition. The word love is huge, sure it is only four letters, but it says a million different things. When I was younger, actually just a few months ago I believed that love had to be measured by stats. Now I believe if you have to do that, it isn’t true love. When it comes to relationships, well, those that I’ve been in didn’t go well, but if I think about it, it is because we didn’t take time to become good friends first. If you take time to become good friends, the chances of going from friends to a relationship is possible, but if you like spending time with someone you don’t need to worry about titles, it is the friendship that matters.

Dating with aspergers syndrome has plenty of flaws. I suggest being friends with anyone who you think would be a good friend and if it turns into dating then it happens, if it doesn’t then you have a good friend. Maybe this isn’t helpful, but it is the only advice I have on the subject; except not to push the subject of dating. Don’t mention it, I mean once, maybe, but if you bring it up to much people won’t talk to you, because it is rude. Saying something once is more then plenty, because people remember, especially people with aspergers syndrome!.

Aspies and those with hfa… Is this logical?? Please comment!!!

I update my posts with more information, if I’ve consumed more information pertaining to the topic I wrote about.

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One thought on “Asperger relationships dating

  1. wife and mom says:

    I am very interested in what you have to say with regard to romantic relationships. However you appear to be younger than my husband was when I met him (29). And it would appear that you may still be figuring all that out. Maybe something I can say could help you, since I am a female in a very successful and long standing partnership with someone who seems very similar to you in many ways. I don’t know.

    I am not an aspie. And I never realized my boyfriend/husband is PDD-NOS until decades into our lives. I just decided he was excentric and quirky (any yes, a bit annoying and very rigid at times) but I attributed it to his superior intelligence.

    We met because I hired him as my math tutor in college. Every last detail of that hour session is burned into my mind to this day, albeit 20 years later. I have so much I could say about that experience but this blog is not the best format. If you are at all interested, please email me. I would truly enjoy sharing this type of information with you if you could find use of it.

    But what I wanted to say here, is that I think it is short-sighted of you if you were to rule out dating neurotypical women. I believe you just would require a certain type of person/personality… rather than someone who shares your symptoms/behaviors/disorder.

    From day one I have been content standing back and giving my husband all the space he needs to feel comfortable. Your average female will not do this. But I am telling you thar we may not be plentyful but we are out there. Somehow I sensed right away this was a requirement to avoid scaring him away. And in fact, I deeply appreciated the freedom and lack of jealousy that we have together, which was absent with other men. I am an incredibly confident, bright (although not genius nor intellectual), logical, strong, and independent person. I am also a person who has never had even a tiny bit of trouble attracting men. So for me, him being “a challenge” gave me the breathing room to discover my own desire for him… Which made that desire compound. This is a very good thing. Typically I am smothered by the men I dated before him. To be blunt (as you say is best) men and women alike typically regard me as asthetically pleasing. Specifically, quite sexy in body and face to the point that I receive compliments literally daily even now that I am middle aged. I have a great deal of confidence and poise. At the same time I am very male-like in that I am far more logical than I am emotional. And finally, I have had a very terrible childhood/homelife which has made me incredibly empathetic toward others’ sensitivities and needs. (So I am the furthest thing from a bitch)

    So what I am trying to say is two things…

    1) That there is a female profile that may fit you very well in the neurotypical pool of women which you may not expect to fit you.

    2) That my husband and I did not have a friendship that developed into a romance. We were dating right from the start. But what we did have is a 2 year period where I instinctively knew he was the one I would be with forever and I also knew that he was unaware of that “fact” until much later than I was. And I also instinctively knew that he needed to be free to be as atypical as he needed to be without any pressure from me to change or conform to traditional customs of behavior or romance. So for the 2 years of us dating before he proposed, I had no idea when I would even hear from him or see him again… Absolutely no expectations for his behavior. I simply led my life and was overjoyed when he felt the desire to contact me. And I made sure he knew I was very happy to receive any time he wished to spend with me. (I was not vague and I do not play manipulative games with men, it is not my style) And I believe that I never made him feel that I expected more from him. Because I did not expect him to be anyone other than who he was.

    And 20 years later I still feel I have the best husband in the world and I am the luckiest person alive to not only have met him but to have had him fall in love with me. I am grateful every single day that he is such a good, stable, honorable, person so full of honor and integrity.

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