Okay, have you ever planned to do something all day and then changed your mind? That’s normal, for those without aspergers syndrome. things are always changing, well that’s what my dad says to me. I dont do well with change… I do way better with change then when I was younger, but it isn’t easy for someone with aspergers syndrome, or at least for me and my friends who are aspies to deal with major change. Change is sickening, because it throws you out of your loop. Your structure of the day is gone. Things can go spiraling down and Normal people call them Meltdowns, which seem really odd since they’re over tiny things, well tiny to you anyways. Here is an insight to our brain.
Let’s say I’ve been looking towards doing errands all day and then I can’t do those errands. It is mind blowing and creates anxiety. I had everything planned out to the T and now I can’t do those errands. While in retrospect it wouldn’t have hurt to wait another day to do the errands, at the moment those errands are part of your daily structure. A few thoughts that are common in a situation like this are “What am I going to do if I don’t go on those errands? But if I don’t do that errand today, how do I know it’ll get done? What am I going to do now that I don’t have those errands to do for the preset amount of time?” the last question is the biggest. Your mind had everything planned and you knew what you were going to do for a certain amount of time. Now you don’t know what you’re going to do and you are anxious. I guess that’s the word, anxious. You either feel really sad, confused, or even angry over not doing those errands and shutdown. Now if those errands weren’t important to you, you keep focusing on your talent or do something else because those errands were actually in the way of the plans in your head. Oh yeah, the plans in your head. That’s for another blog post, but to put it simply you plan everything out and believe everyone knows your plans cause you told them, but in reality you didn’t tell them, but you think you did. It is a lot more detailed than that, but as I said another blog post.
So how do you tell a kid who has aspergers syndrome about change? Let them process this change for a minute, but tell them what you are going to do next. Suggestions are hard, because too many choices can be mind boggling, so try to make it really simple and stuff you know they like. This won’t always work or avoid meltdowns, but it is one way of handling such a situation.
I am not a parent, I am just suggesting what sounds logical and what I’ve seen parents do with their aspie kids. I am just an aspie and this is my view, the way I’ve seen others react to change and the way I feel about change once in awhile. I do better with change than some.
Have you encountered this issue? Comment if you’d like to chime in about this topic.