Aspergers and respecting people older than you

Okay, so I have aspergers syndrome and I help my friend out with some stuff he does. I’ve fought my aspergers syndrome and have tried for months to be polite about a subject with my friend when in my opinion he was wrong about something not one bit trivial, but very important. I know you have to respect those who are older than you, because they have a shorter lifespan, at least that’s my reasoning to the social skills rule. After months of respecting this archaic social skill rules I gave up. Yes, I let my aspergers syndrome brain speak out & I made my friend angry. I feel really bad about this, but I haven’t told my friend that. What I don’t understand is why doesn’t everyone say exactly what they are thinking without any social skill rules just get rid of most of
these rules as they are archaic and useless.It does make people angry when I don’t abide by social skills. I don’t Recommend letting go of social skills as you could end up in trouble and losing friends or making them very angry.what’s interesting is if you make a legitimate argument using Asperger memory of things that were said 5 months ago to 5 Years ago they sometimes realize you’re right after they get over being mad, if you’re lucky and they do get over being mad. I sometimes lose people as friends when I don’t follow the archaic, yet currently necessary social skill rules. I don’t like this one bit, but sometimes like in the ethical situation I was stuck in and have been for almost 6 months you just slip & end up telling the other person straight out, blunt with no sugar coating, no extra words to prevent feelings from being hurt, and just say what needs to be said.
I appreciate feedback.

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2 thoughts on “Aspergers and respecting people older than you

  1. Monica says:

    Thank you for your blogs which I find very interesting. I am a mother to a son who I believe has Aspergers who is 19 at university and a son who is actually diagnosed with Autism Spectrum who is 14 who has had much more support. I also have an older brother who was only diagnosed with Aspergers a few years ago and he is I think 52 now. Also suspect my ex husband is somewhere on the spectrum which is partly why we never saw eye to eye on things. Anyhow, I just really, really want to know how to better communicate with these people in my life and understand them better so I can love them better. On your post about respecting older people I would like to make some comments. I feel we should respect pretty much everyone anyway and by that I mean treat everyone kindly and by that I mean with politeness, no swearing, and general politeness. I believe the reason we are told to respect our elders is “not” because they have less time to live but because they have more life experience. However, I agree with you that just because we have more life experience does not mean someone older cannot be wrong and humans make mistakes and get things wrong throughout their lives. It is totally OK to say you disagree with someone and set out your reasons and often the sooner you are more honest the better it is because even with NT’s if you do not get something off your chest about how you feel or you are in a situation where you are forcing yourself to pretend to respect someone’s opinion you will get more upset and frustrated and then when you do say something it is more likely to come out badly because of your pent up frustration. When you state your case I think it is also important to allow the other person to state their case to and sometimes you have to agree to disagree for a time. My son cannot stand when I say “agree to disagree” but in life people and things are not always the way we would like or as intelligent, or loving or understanding as we would like them to be and it is necessary to accept people’s limitations and differences.

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