People With Asperger Syndrome Do not like Hugs

If you have Aspergers you probably don’t like hugs, you might even have a fear of hugs. This is pretty normal for people with Autism, HFA, PDD NOS, and of course Aspergers. For some reason most people on the spectrum dislike hugs. It probably has to do with disliking touch– all I can say is hugs are an odd human ritual exposing people to illnesses. I am trying very hard to desensitize myself to the dislike of hugs by having to gibe hugs in acting. I have this half sided hug I usually give people, but that doesn’t fly in a love scene. No sirree, you have to give a neurotypical hug. I am referring to a G love scene, where you just give an embracing hug. If you think about it hugs are fueled with emotion, something NTs are good at expressing, but us aspies aren’t good at. Well, I wouldnt say we aren’t good at expressing emotion, that’s what I do with a microphone, on stage, when ever I act I express my emotions great. Why? Because I have a script. My script tells me how you feel, how I supposed to feel, what is happening around me, and what will be happening around me until the performance is over. Life is a script that is continually being written and your script isn’t finished until you die. Yeah, that might sound cheesy or profound, but it is true. So how do I deal with hugs in real life? I usually give a hug that I’ve invented that people find rude since it is basically just a pat on the back. SinceI’ve been pushing my personal boundaries of giving hugs in acting, I might be able to give real hugs in real life.

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12 thoughts on “People With Asperger Syndrome Do not like Hugs

  1. Very true. For me, beyond the sensory aspect, it’s the trying to figure out how to hug–how tight, how long, pat on the back or not, boy verses girl hug. Thanks for the post.

  2. Alex Jones says:

    I dislike physical touch too. I attended an Islamic conference last year and people are not supposed to touch a female, but make a certain non-contact gesture and slight nod. I tend to do that action now for all females, and for males I just shake hands.

    • The Islamic contact rituals sound quite interesting. I have an issue with shaking hands as does a large population of America. The issue with shaking hands is the fact that you don’t know where the other person put their hand last.

  3. Dalgish says:

    I have aspergers. I like them. But only at the right time and don’t like being rushed onto.

  4. Andrew says:

    Well, I am an aspie and like being hugged by people I know. It may be that I have problems with theory of mind and thus can’t feel theie affection. If they hug me it is much easier to feel the affection. Two people wuth AS are never the same…

  5. aadriech says:

    I like this a lot! I cannot stand hugs, even from family and my own wife. I still give them because I understand people like them, but I try an avoid them if I can.

    I really like your part about being able to express yourself through acting as you have a script. It’s something I’ve thought a lot about and might give a try now. Thanks 🙂

  6. Aspie says:

    I dislike cuddles that are unexpected, or when I’m cornered/confined. I like cuddles when I initiate them, or with my little nieces.

  7. adquidorator says:

    I used to shrink away whenever someone tried to hug me because I saw them as an invasion of my personal space, but now I’m reserved when it comes to hugging; I won’t initiate a hug but if someone wants one I have no problem giving them one.

  8. Seli says:

    It seems some of us are like cats. If we want to cuddle or hug, we’ll approach, but we become cranky when someone hugs us when we don’t want to. If I have to, I’ll do it… grudgingly. I do like hugging when I know it makes the other person happy, though. And family is fine. But if my arm so much as brushes against a friend’s without my blessing, I’m squeezing further against arm of the couch. Subtly of course. Don’t want to hurt their feelings.

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