Aspergers View On Dating Rituals

Here’s my Aspergers view on dating rituals. Do I date? Yes. Do I have a Girlfriend? No, but I am dating. I like dating, however some of the things that go along with dating are quite weird, that or my Asperger mind doesn’t understand the social skills that make certain things important. The thing I am addressing today is hand holding. I am unsure what holding hands signifies. People say it is affectionate, so I guess they know what they’re talking about. I did want someone to hold my hand once, because I wanted to see if they liked me and since this is customary, well, I tried it. They didn’t hold my hand and never became my girlfriend, which in retrospect is a good thing.

Hugs, hand holding, kissing, all of these things make little sense to me. I mean, I get hugs. It took me a year to actually accept hugs and give people hugs. I still don’t usually like it, but a hug can mean several different things. A hug can comfort someone if they’re upset, a hug can show someone you care about them, a bro-hug means you’re cool dude, etc. Letting someone hug me means I like that person a lot, since I still dislike hugs, but can now deal with them and give them. Shaking hands freaks me out, because I care about hygiene and you don’t know where that persons hand has been. I know it may seem like I am going on about nothing, but these things that you take for granted and are very small ritualistic parts of your lives confuse the heck out of me.

Have I ever kissed someone? Yes. Have I ever french kissed someone? Yes, but I don’t plan on doing that again. They tried to bite my tongue off on purpose. Long story.

The Asperger side of me sees everything in a very literal and analytical viewpoint, so none of the above is useful to me personally. These odd dating rituals are only useful to me, because it shows the other person I care a lot, since I am willing to go along with the odd dating rituals. Maybe that’s what they are to everyone, odd rituals that people do so the other person knows they care about them.


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