Autism Dating: My First GirlFriend

I get a lot of requests on here and questions in real life about relationships when you’re on the autistic spectrum, so I am going to regal you with some of the memories from my first relationship in high school. Please note that I now realize how  inappropriate, but funny these events were way back when and I am not like this anymore. I can’t say if my, now ex-girlfriend is still like this or not.  Let’s  start at the beginning.


I met my first girlfriend who is on the Autistic Spectrum  during P.E on Halloween. We were wearing alien costumes. She was an alien from a cat planet. I asked her out and we started dating. We were considered a unique “couple” by the principal. The principal required  a parent escort to all dances, because of our uniqueness. On our first date at a local food franchise she asked me to get her a napkin. I did, but I was being a goofball, so I brought her the entire napkin holder and carried it on my head.  My girlfriend told couples how disgusting they were for making out while they were making out. We were both into a book called grossology, which concocted an idea for a brilliant perfume. The process for making the perfume  was to get every single stinky thing wet and then drench the sweat and smell out of the material. Most people called it B.O perfume. We then went to a food chain store where she sprayed this perfume in an innocent strangers face. They looked very mad and hated the smell.

One day we went to the video store and we were waiting in line. She got bored and started acting like a cat. She proceeded crawling around their legs and meowing, like a Cat.  I decided to break up with my Autistic girlfriend after we had a fight and she said she was sorry and wanted to apologize by making out, since she had gotten over the making out is gross stage. Well, it turns out she wasn’t sorry. She was mad and  bit my tongue on purpose and left teeth marks in my tounge. I am not sure if the goal was to bite my tounge off or not. I still have my tounge.

Absolutely anything may happen if your kid has high functioning autism or Aspergers and has a relationship. Please note that crazy things can happen when you aren’t on the autism spectrum disorder as well. What was your first relationship  like? Was it as unique as mine? Let me know in the comments!


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