Category Archives: pervasive developmental disorder

Life With Autism Day 2 of 30 day challenge

So, death. Yeah, I am writing about a topic most people don’t even want to think about, let alone talk about. What I’ve always wanted to know and always puzzles me is why people respond so negatively towards the topic of death. There was a pre-production film called Death Day where you’re born knowing the day you die and the day before you die everyone throws a huge party. I thought that was wonderful, but everyone else hated it. Why? Wouldn’t it be great to know when you’re going to die, so you can have a formal celebration and have proper closure with people you’ve had issues with? Or even better tell people you hate “Well, tomorrow I die, so it’s the best day on earth cause I won’t have to see you!”

Don’t get me wrong, I am not trying to make death sound like a great thing, it just is what it is. If it weren’t for death, we’d have Genghis Khan, Napoleon, Hitler and every other loon who has ever lived fighting for control of the world. Since no one could die, people would have a terrible time, because those loons would make them wish they could die.  I know I may sound dark, but these are things that I’ve wondered about today, so I am writing about them.  One thing that offends most people is that I refuse to go to funerals, because why do I want to be around people who are crying? I wouldn’t want that. I’d want people to party and do the craziest things they could think of at my funeral.

People seem to like things without any fluctuation, which is quite boring. Do you really want to live by the status quo that you hate and rant about while you’re drunk? I wouldn’t want to do that.  If you had a choice would you rather be in an office working in a little cubicle doing a mundane job or doing something that is risky as hell, but a thrill ride and makes money? I like the risky as hell thrill rides, because then you never work a day in your life and you just have fun!

When someone was grilling me the other day about how risky something I am doing is I said “Things aren’t any fun without risk. The more risk involved, the more fun it is!!!” They haven’t taken much risk in their life. They do the same thing everyday, day in, day out. I do a lot of different things, and not all of them have that epic adrenaline rush I love, but some do.

One great example is the guy who jumped from space to the ground to help advertise Red Bull. Man, that would be awesome to do!! I don’t have anyone who would pay for me to jump from space, but that does sound like fun.

I am not giving career advice, I am just trying to write one post a day about life with autism, and everything I wrote about reflects the way I look at things, which some of it is not related to autism at all, but before I’ve put things up that I thought weren’t autistic traits and found out other wise. I’ve met some very boring people on the autistic spectrum, but others who are awesome and fun to be around.
Anyways, those are a couple things I’ve thought about today. I wonder what tomorrow’s post will be like? Well, you’ll see it when I see it!

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Social Skills tips for people on Autism / Aspergers spectrum

 

Here are a few more social skill pointers. If someone rolls their eyes while saying something and have a voice which usually consists of slightly drawn out words and extra breathing, then this may be a sign of sarcasm or of exasperation.  Exasperation is if you are doing something the person dislikes while sarcasm can be something like “Of course, I’d kiss a toad” when they mean exactly the opposite of what they said. I understand sarcasm the best when it comes to communication. I also am able to detect when I am starting to annoy someone.

 

I still fear voicemail, unless I know who is going to hear my message. I had a talk with someone who I call on business with time sensitive information.  I told him I left messages with his staff, but they weren’t getting delivered. He asked me why I didn’t leave voicemails and when I said I was scared of voicemails he didn’t laugh. He simply said “Okay.” That is one of the more down to earth things I’ve said to him. When we started talking about leaving messages via voicemail I asked who listens to them. I realized my fear of voicemail was that I didn’t know who would hear it, so I didn’t know their social skills and how they would interpet what I was saying. Once I knew only he was going to listen to my voicemails, I  agreed to leave voicemails. I know that seems odd, but trust me voicemails are scary.

 

I am planning to meet people from around the world that I’ve never met before this year. It’s pretty exciting and slightly nerve wrecking at the same time. We had to explain to them that in and out isn’t the United States best cuisine, since they thought it was. It isn’t that I am afraid of these people, I communicate with them all the time on business or sometimes just casual chit-chat. Still, meeting someone in real life that you’ve been conducting business with for years makes me wonder if they see me the way I truly am without a screen between the two of us where I am able to change what I am going to say before I send it, that just maybe they’ll not want to do business with me anymore. Of course, I know a couple of them seem to be somewhere on the spectrum. If you’re in my industry, well, most of us are on the spectrum.  I know I’ll have to be myself like I am online while polishing up a few of my rough edges that I am able to smooth out before sending something across the web. Or I can just be myself. Back to more social skills that I’ve learned.

When someone likes you and you try to be nice to them and ask them to dance and they get mad, it isn’t your fault. Some people respond to things differently then you expect, plus when I go out dancing I dance with everyone, so perhaps they knew that and that made them angry. I could never like someone who purposefully hurts others who are already in pain… anyways, enough about me.

I’ve been experimenting with starting conversations with random strangers. So far I’ve ruled out using the line “So, what are you in for?”. I tried it and it failed miserably. I guess that isn’t the best way to strike up a conversation in a doctors office. Another line I used which some say is rude was “What it is like getting old?” This wasn’t an attempt of being rude, but something I am very curious about. This line didn’t fail, in fact the elderly gentleman chuckled and told me you can’t hear well, you’re in a lot of pain, and you can’t see well. He was very nice and inquired why I was asking.

I had a customer that needed pricing way below what I am able to offer now a days. It seemed odd that he came back to me after two years and asked for the same discount price, but that’s what happened. I mentioned the customer to someone else and mentioned that their work had to do with humor. When I was asked if there work was funny I said “No.” then I paused and the person thinking about taking the job wasn’t thrilled until I said “but of course you know I have Aspergers, so I have trouble understanding humor.” It is important to remind people that you don’t understand certain things, like humor especially in a business transaction that mainly has to do with humor.

 

I’ve learned that when you approach the head of a giant  company there are a few skills you need. You need to be concise, thank them for their time, and get your point across very quickly while still being polite, at least what they will interpret as being polite.  I’ve stopped sharing what companies I communicate with or even work with to most of my friends, because they seemed to take it as bragging when it wasn’t. I dislike how badly I rank in my industry, but when I tell people about my rank they think I am bragging and am not sincere about being upset until they look at me and listen for a minute and realize I really think being in the top 100 in my industry is a bad thing, because I am not in the top 10, so I see that as a huge failure on my part.

How does this have to do with social skills? It’s because the way you perceive something isn’t always the way other people will perceive something. I think I am not doing great, while others look at me and think I am doing awesome. Perception is key to almost everything in life and if you can master perception or at least understand it, then you will be able to do a lot better in almost everything.

 

Also, what seems like a compliment to you may be extremely rude to the person getting the compliment. I remember in school I wanted to compliment someone on having less acne then usual, but was told they’d take it the wrong way. I complimented someone on being sober and they got upset. Maybe it was the extreme surprise in my voice when I said it, since I am not used to this person being sober even when he works. Plus, I don’t see him that often. You have to think about how the other person is going to interpet what you’re saying. I realize now that what I said came across as an insult and am not mad at all the jabs that they gave me afterwards. I thought it was nice, because I noticed they were improving. Also, drinking is something of a mystery to me. It is acceptable to consume alcohol, but it is not acceptable to be drunk. I don’t drink, but some people say being drunk means you aren’t good at moderation and so you aren’t responsible with alcohol.
Also that golden rule “Treat others how you want to be treated” doesn’t work well for me, because I want people to tell me the truth, even if the truth is “you stink” I want to hear it  so I can correct whatever is making me smell bad. Most people don’t want that much honesty, so you have to sugar-coat things, which makes little sense to me. Also, people can say something about theirself like “I am fat”, but if you agree with them, well, expect a slap in the face. These  are just examples. I know not to agree with someone when they say they’re fat, because weight is a touchy topic. I wasn’t always that good with this subject and have made mistakes that I regret while I am sure the other person has forgotten them, but I am hard on myself so I can be the best I possibly can be when it comes to social skills and everything else.

 

 

I hope this helps someone with their social skills.

 

 

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Teaching With Aspergers Ayndrome

Teaching isn’t something an aspie would usually do, but the field I am in is a unique one for an aspie. I teach, I will be speaking, I do various different ways of communicating with other living beings. I taught my first class with a room full of people. I was terrified of the idea to actually teach people and was freaked for days prior to the event.

I ended up having a few small blips in the class when I was trying to think of a word or couldn’t explain something, but the hardest part was to treat everyone as if they were equally smart as I am. I have discovered with a ton of help from my family that everyone is unique. I had a famous person in my class, but from a different industry. They didn’t know anything about what I was teaching, but I don’t understand how they do what they do.

The students loved the class, despite of my differences. This means that, yeah we have Aspergers or P.D.D, but only we can stop ourselves from achieving our goals.

The fear of teaching, the fear of criticisim from hundreds of people, it is just that — fear. I’ve spoken in front of 700 to 900 people before, but this was quite different. What I am trying to say is don’t be afraid to face your fears and do something totally out of character for an aspie. Don’t let the label, label who you are and what you do. Label yourself for who you truly are. We are all different and can contribute to the planet, If we are brave enough to confront our fears.

Fear Of Germs And Aspergers

Do you have a fear of germs? this can be called germaphobia and other names. Have you ever thought your Aspergers Syndrome , pervasive developmental disorder, or other autistic disorder could be the cause of your fear of germs? If you answered yes, then you are correct. I know that I am slightly germophobic, like if a wild bird poops on me I will not be happy. I am cautious not to touch bathroom door knobs or any door knob, because they are a breeding place for germs. Besides that, I don’t fear germs to much.

My friends know I won’t shake most people’s hands unless I know that they are clean and decent. They always have hand sanitizer with them, which I borrow after shaking a lot of hands. I really think we need to get rid of shaking hands for good. I am not the only one who fears germs. I have a friend who is quite brilliant who has germaphobia. I don’t understand how he ever ended up in the field he is in with his fear of germs.

Fearing germs isn’t stupid, it is actually quite smart. Being obsessive about it is another thing entirely. If you are cautious then you should be fine and seem normal. If you obsessively wash your hands, then you have an issue.

I find it really interesting that the fear of germs is linked to Aspergers. I am not surprised since we try to be very logical people and germs aren’t usually healthy for you. But i don’t believe eating bone marrow is healthy either, but people with and without Aspergers eat gelatin, jell-o, yogurt, etc. all the time. Gelatin is a fancy name for bone marrow. I may be wrong, bone marrow could be very healthy though I highly doubt it.

Anyways, I wanted to share another interesting Asperger tidbit. I am still analyzing dogs and cats to see how logical they are for that blog
post, which I promised.

Have a great day!

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Aspergers black and white logic doesn’t work

The Aspergers mind thinks in a black and white format. Well, most aspies think in black and white. This makes a lot of sense to us, yet when my body is in sync with the ocean I realize that is illogical.

I talk about the medical Benifits the ocean has on the body in other blog posts. It somehow syncs your mind and calms your body.

Black and white logic makes sense to your mind. If someone says they are going to do something and they don’t do it then they lied. Well, when your in tune with the ocean you are able to see that there are so many other factors besides what someone said. Yes, someone may say something and when they say it they mean it. Outside forces or unexpected events make them unable to keep their word. This isn’t lying rather a change in events that they couldn’t control. My mind has trouble seeing the difference if I am not in tune with the pull of the tide and the moon.

Sorry I haven’t posted for awhile. I’ve been very busy running my company. I hope this blog post has been helpful.

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Aspergers: Your Best Friend Is Your Worst Enemy

Okay, you probably believe that your best friend being your worst enemy sounds like an oxy-moron. It’s not, in fact it makes a lot of sense. When you’re on the autistic spectrum friends are optional, because you don’t need them. In my experience, If you have a friend they’re also your enemy. This isn’t always true and doesn’t apply to every friendship I’ve had, but it does apply to the majority of them.

How can your friend with Aspergers or High Functioning Autism also be your enemy? Because it is the way it is. You are blunt with each other and know one another’s weaknesses. You are both impulsive and both think you’re right on a topic, even if you aren’t. You both aren’t fully aware of how certain things affect other things, because you don’t stop to think.

This is one reason people with Aspergers / HFA do not need friends or scare all their friends away. I would like to live miles away from society on a farm, yet I’m very sociable or I pretend to be. It’s the same with friends, you have a lot of friends or you appear to have a lot of friends. In your mind none of those people are your friends and a lot of them are your enemy.

You usually have one or two friends, and those friends can instantly become your enemy and Vica versa. Neither of you plan to become each others enemy , because you’re great friends. Thanks to our lack of understanding social skills and social cues we run into a lot of verbal misunderstandings and everything goes downhill from there. The odd thing about being friends and enemies is how quickly you become friends again. You are usually friends in about 30 minutes to two hours after a fight, but one fight I had would’ve ended a ten year friendship. I wrote my friend off for a week or two and would’ve never spoken to him again if my Mom hadn’t encouraged me too. Even when we did speak we argued for an hour and then argued in text for days. Things got smoothed over, but his wife was of no help… In fact she was a big reason we got into the fight.

He did what she wanted and he acted differently, because she told him too. This was out of character for him. His wife controlling him infuriated me. I decided he was compromised and I didn’t want to be friends with someone who is compromised. I wrote him off for a week or so before I called him. If I hadn’t called him, we wouldn’t still be friends.

If you have an Autistic friend or your autistic always remember that your friend is also your enemy.

Please note that these are from my personal experiences and not from any studies.

Battleship Movie Not Aspergers Friendly!

Do not, I repeat do not see the new movie BattleShip if you have Aspergers. Aspergers ayndrome and other people on the autistic spectrum can hear frequencies that most can’t. The movie Battle Ship uses a frequency that is used In dog whistles, whixh we can hear just fine. Battle Ship is a great movie, that is until you are in tears from the pain of the sound from the movie.

Movies in the 1930’s used this high pitched sound, similar to a Dog whistle when something was supposed to be scary. This frequency has been removed from all modern movies, except for Battle Ship. If you hear dog whistles, then this sound will mess with your head, scramble your mind, and make you cry in pain. Do not go see the movie Battle ship, if you are on the autism spectrum.

The theatre I go to has never seen me cry from severe pain caused by sound. The theatre has a strict “no cash back” rule, instead they give you a ticket good for one movie, if you dislike the movie . you also only have 45 minutes to get the refund. They decided to not enforce those rules today. I guess they’d never seen an adult cry from sound frequencies and be in extreme pain. I got through an hour of the movie before I was crying. The extreme onslaught of sound started after 50 minutes of the film. It is not pleasant to have your mind tortured by sound frequencies that don’t affect anyone else. It actually drives you a bit nuts.

If you want to see the movie BattleShip, wait till it comes out on DVD. That way you can control the sound and mute it if needed.

Have you ever had a similar experience with a movie? Let us know in the comments.

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