Tag Archives: asperger syndrome

Autism Life and Fear Of Change day 3 of 30 day challenge

So, today is the third day I’ve written this post. I am writing about the fear of change. Change can be scary and I don’t mean dimes and nickles, those can just be confusing. Seriously, why do they make the one worth less bigger than the one worth more? The size of currency should reflect it’s value. I am getting off track. When people start talking about majorly changing the course of life, you can start heading towards a meltdown. When someone just changes the course of your life without asking you, you will go into a meltdown. I hadn’t thought of writing about meltdowns until art and aspergers wrote about it.

Art and aspergers did such a good job about writing about meltdowns that I am not going to cover it again. Anyways, meltdowns aren’t fun. They’re pretty horrible, if you don’t catch them and stop them in time. I am not writing too much today.

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Aspergers Syndrome: Friends Are Optional

Making friends with Aspergers Syndrome seems hard, but it isn’t as hard as it seems. There is something else that you as a “normal” parent wouldn’t think of.

You’re probably thinking “why doesn’t my kid have friends? Sure my kid has Aspergers, but everyone can make friends.”

You are right, everyone can have friends, but friends are quite the pain… Well, not all friends, but I’ll explain what I mean further on. Anyways, “friends” are quite a pain, they’re like the toy from the 2000’s called “furby”. Friends are always trying to take up your time with stupid, moronic stuff that you could care less about. They seem to need attention to survive…. I had a psychiatrist who was learning about Aspergers from me say that most people crave friends, because they need to project their problems onto them.

Some people with Aspergers, if not all of us wouldn’t mind having a real friend, not a furby friend or the type of friend that psychiatrist referenced, but an actual friend. What is the difference? An actual friend has the same obsession as you, sorry I mean focus. There really isn’t that big of a difference between obsessions and being focused on one area where you are really smart.

I digressed. A real friend is very similar to you or doesn’t mind taking turns going on about each others focus. Let’s face it, focus is another way to say obsessions. A real friend won’t answer the phone if they don’t want to talk. A real friend will be blunt and tell you the full truth and nothing but the truth. A real friend Doesn’t mind if you get busy with your obsession for a week or two. That’s a real friend. Not a furby friend, or someone who Velcro’s onto you and wont let you be, nope those aren’t real friends. A saying my sibling came up with a long time ago is ” I have a lot of friends, I just don’t like any of them.”

That has to be the most honest and truthful saying about friends when you have Aspergers syndrome. I was very popular in high school, I was always in a swarm of cheerleaders at a dance. My sibling says to find me
They just had to look for the swarm of cheerleaders and I was always in the middle of it all. I was the center of attention and not in a bad way! I didn’t get the social cues these girls were throwing left and right, what with flipping their hair, giggling at nothing in particular, etc. I guess I was “hard to get” in their minds, but in reality I didn’t get that they liked me, because they never said so.

At lunch You could always find me either (A starting a new fad that everyone would follow and do exactly do what I did. (B you could find me with any crowd that existed. Whether that was band or the jocks, I was welcomed. (C you could find me in a classroom with a teacher eating his lunch, while we played some geeky game like dungeons and dragons or I’d be alone fixing the school computers, because I like them better than people and the teachers had no idea what I was doing so they left.

How does that have to do with having friends? Look at the cheerleaders, jocks, everyone else who wanted to hang with me, yet I chose isolation. Why? Because they weren’t friends, they were furby people. I did hang out with one group at school the most. We were the outcasts, well, everyone but myself was an outcast. We didn’t fit in with any group, so we had our own group. The outcasts were real friends. If you’re an outcast, it is because you don’t fit the status quo. I’m not sure how I was able to and still am able to go back and forth between those types of crowds, but I do it without thinking.

So how do you make a friend? Simple, don’t look for a friend or you’ll just find a bunch of annoying furbys.

I hope this was helpful! I know there was a lot of references to my life, but that’s the only way I know how to explain what a friend is and what a friend isn’t.

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Do People With Aspergers Syndrome Feel Pain?

Do people with Aspergers Syndrome feel pain? yes, of course we feel pain! People with Autism, PDD NOS, HFA, and Aspergers all feel pain. We may deal with pain very differently than those who aren’t autistic. Our reactions may seem like we don’t feel pain, but that can be for several reasons. I have a friend who if gets hurt, doesn’t scream instead sits in absolute silence for a minute and then shows the emotion of pain. If you knew my friend and all of my friends facial expressions or breathing patterns, well you know they’re in pain, they just don’t express it the way neurotypicals do. Something’s that do not result in discomfort for people without Aspergers, hurts us very badly. Dog whistles are a very good example. I can’t say that everyone on the autistic spectrum hears dog whistles, but I know I do & I know that my small study on 15 of my friends and acquaintances with Aspergers showed that they hear dog whistles and they don’t like the sound. I was going for a walk with a neighbor when they did what I guess could be considered the inevitable in this day and age. They blew a dog whistle. I started yelling in pain and putting my hands over my ears, while the dog quickly ran over to its owner. This wasn’t even one of the silent dog whistles, those hurt the worst. Silent dog whistles are silent in the sense of noise that most people are used to, but the vibrations you hear are so painful!! So, yes we feel pain. I would like ro conclude this post by saying that some people can withstand things that others would think are painful, but this is common in both the Neurotypical world and the non-neurotypical world.

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Aspergers And Making Friends

I am not going to say it’s easy. Well, it is easy to make people who think they’re your friends, but you don’t think they’re friends. Finding someone that really connects with you at the same level is hard, but I’ve done it over and over. I’ll tell you how I’ve made real friends. You need to share several common interests or at least one. B This is something you can talk about and debate for years, if not decades. You also need to like each other, communicate on the same playing field. Make friends who have Aspergers or HFA, it makes things easier then trying to make friends with those who don’t have aspergers. When you are looking for someone who shares the same interest Find someone who shares views that are different than yours on philosophy, that makes for hours upon hours of great debating. Maybe for you, you’re looking for someone who loves pokemon or neopets. I am sure you can find one of those, although those topics grow old over time and can not progress into new topics like different theoretical theories, philosophy, what is reality, stuff like that makes for endless conversation forever.

You need to be kind to your friend and realize that they have emotions. Don’t tell your friend that they’re a geophasist even if in the literal context to their comment it is literally correct, because it is also very offensive, I found that out by experience.
Right now I have 3 friends, well those that I actually consider friends. One has been my best friend for over a decade, one has been a friend for about 5 months, but hopefully will be a friend forever, and the third is a bit amazing. When I was 8 I made a friend. I lost that friend when he moved when he was 10. I reconnected with him last night and our hard core beliefs of our friendship hasn’t changed one bit.  Making these type of friends that cruised around with you in high school and got banned from ihop with you because you gave the waiter a plate of barf are true friends. My other friend is one you can talk about everything from before existence and after existence, to a friend I just reconnected with who happens to be blind, but always has been and that’s changed ways I’ve done things since I was 9. I had a discussion with one of my friends about blindness being not an impairment but an ability because you are less likely to be pregidous. Vision creates stereotypes about people, unless you work really hard not to let that happen. It is hard to find friends that clicks, what you need to look for is someone that connects with you at some level, those are usually your true friends.

I updated this on the 27th of august to help people out way better.

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Transformers dark side of the moon movie review by an aspie

Okay, transformers dark side of the moon was a good movie, well it was good for a movie with subliminal ad messages everywhere you look. This movie is not for kids! It is marketed as a kids movie, that’s who they sell the toys to, but any parent would not want there child exposed to the amount of swearing, guy pulling off his pants in a bathroom stall and grabbing paper out of his butt, the extreme level of violence compared to the last two. No, this isn’t a kids movie. I know, because I had to walk out with an 11 year old, get her a ride home, and go back in the movie. The main piece of the movie was Love. Sam loves this girl, I don’t even remember her name or if they assigned her a name. Anyways, he loves her, but the entire world is at stake. That is almost 7 billion lives. He has to spy on the autobots and have a microchip report everything he does to the decepticons for his girlfriend to live. Jeopardize the world for one person? I am not heartless, not at all… But the concept of sacrificing tons of lives for one seems selfish, inhumane, and downright wrong. Anyways the movie showed how he went through torture via the microchip so the decepticons would not get any new information, thus making enough time for him to save his girlfriend. After hyper analyzing the movie I find interesting tactics deployed within the movie. This microchip will see everything he sees, hears, every muscle, they tapped into his brain, but they didn’t know what his friends would see as a lie when it came to wording. He was ordered to find out the autobots strategy, so he did it in such a fashion that they could tell he was not himself so they lied to him. Ingenious. Yes, it is just a movie to sell toys, but the plot is really good and hard to understand for someone with aspergers syndrome. Another thing in this movie that I find so interesting is that your best friend, your mentor, your leader, will betray your entire side in a war to do what he believes is right, but ends up killing his friends and becoming just another bad guy, but a bad guy they trust which in turn puts everyone at risk and several die because of him. I liked the morals of the movie, but it isn’t kid appropriate which is quite sad. I have several jobs and one of them is acting. Sadly none of my onscreen roles are appropriate for 7 and younger. I have so many jobs, but I love them all. Writing this blog is part of my down time. Anyways, I hope this helped!

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Aspergers syndrome and lack of emotions or missing emotions

to say those with hfa or aspergers are emotionless, is completely and totally incorrect. Yes, we do have missing emotions, no we don’t show emotions as much as most people(some show more emotion than others), but what annoys me is that I have missing emotions. I am very similar to data on star trek, ever so curious about emotions of humans. I am not an android, but I am missing one emotion that makes other people jealous. I haven’t felt embarrassment, yet people say “aren’t you embarrassed?” and I have to say that I don’t know what the heck embarrasment is! I dislike not knowing an emotion, and it is always hard when someone else claims that you embarrassed them, but you did something you find totally normal. Odd? From a neurotypical standpoint I guess so. From an atypical stand point, yes. Am I saying we are emotionless? Heck no!! We are able to seem emotionless until we are pushed past our limit and we lose it. We suppress our emotions to the point where it seems like we don’t have emotions.

What I find annoying is how much parents complain about their aspergers kids. My parents don’t, but I’ve heard plenty of parents bicker and say the most moronic stuff. I have lost my patience several times in the past & told those parents how they were incorrect about their complaints, challenging their perceptions of aspergers, and that aspergers isn’t something to complain about, it is a gift. I haven’t met anyone with true aspergers who is stuck in a dead end job. I am not counting those who are actually hfa, but their parents present it as aspergers because aspies have a better chance of doing well in life than our counterparts. I don’t know how parents convince doctors to mislabel their kids, but I see it all the time. I admit, I am not aspergers, I am pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified. I am somewhere on the spectrum, but they don’t know where. The group I come close to fitting into is
the aspies. Yes, those with hfa and aspergers do have emotions , we just express them differently than you do, we can be extremely calm, but when we get pushed over the limit our mood changes in 0.10th of a second. so while we see emotionless, we are not. We are actually highly emotional, we just use the Vulcan method of suppressing emotions. Those with High functioning autism don’t do as good of a job at suppressing their emotions. Please comment on this and correct me if you believe that I am wrong. I love comments. It makes me feel like my blogging on aspergers is actually worthwhile.

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How movies teach social skills to those with aspergers syndrome

I find movies to be highly educational, even if they aren’t an educational movie. Why? Because Movies reflect life. If you watch the social cues in a movie, you may actually learn more about yourself and others. This leads to understanding your life better. You can ask your kid/ teen what they got out of that movie and what the message was. Most people don’t get the message in Hulk, which is plain as day to me, but not to others. If you are familiar with the movie Hulk, you will be able to see what I see once you give it some thought. Hulk is about discrimination. He runs to hide from people and does not want to turn into a monster, but he is hunted down and turns into what people consider a monster. All he is doing is protecting himself. He doesn’t want to hurt people, but they are trying to hurt him. They are hurting him, because they don’t understand him. Looking at movies and then interpeting them into real life may not work for everyone and it might just be, because I am an actor that I feel this way, but I would at least give it a shot and post your feedback here.

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